


What They Gossipped About in Ten-Forward One Day

by firecat



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Bar, Cats, Conflicting Memories, Emotions, Gen, Holodeck Sex, Holodecks/Holosuites, M/M, Replicators, Rule 34, Sexual Fantasy, Slight Character Bashing, Tea, Ten-Forward, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:15:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25928005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firecat/pseuds/firecat
Summary: Everyone's talking about the new upgrade to the holodeck on the Enterprise. It reads your mind and produces exactly the sexual fantasy you want.In theory, anyway.Data and Reginald Barclay decide to try it. They bring Spot.
Relationships: Reginald Barclay/Data
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6
Collections: Froday Flash Fiction Little & Monthly Specials 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 is Gen. Chapter 2 is M/M.
> 
> I played fast and loose with the timeline. Pretty sure you won't find Tasha Yar and Reginald Barclay in the same episodes.
> 
> Written for FFFC 100th Special Challenge Table D: Fairytale/Fantasy/SciFi, prompt: (17) virtual reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew and officers of the Enterprise speculate about the new holodeck module.

Mostly the officers and the enlisted crew of the starship Enterprise don’t mingle socially. But at Guinan’s Ten-Forward bar, they do. The hundreds-year-old El-Aurian had insisted, when agreeing to take on the bartender role, that any space she tended must be open to all, and all must be treated as equals within it. 

Today the lounge is more crowded than usual. One only has to eavesdrop for a few minutes to understand why.

“Did you hear? There’s a new upgrade to the holodeck,” says one member of the engineering crew to another. 

“Really?! What does it do?” his companion asks.

“It reads your mind and produces exactly the sexual fantasy you want.” 

“Oh no. That’s like that weird game everyone got addicted to last year,” puts in a crew member from Med Lab. 

“No, it’s not one of the illicit modules,” says the first engineer, whose name is Jack. “It’s legit. The fine psychological minds at Starfleet have decided that it will reduce stress and improve morale.”

“What are you talking about?” says a member of the replicator maintenance team who has just walked in.

“Lucifer. The new sex fantasy holodeck module,” says Jack. 

“Why is it called Lucifer?” the replicator tech wants to know.

“I guess because it knows exactly what you desire?”

“So who’s tried it?” says a member of the security team, wiping at a spill on their red shirt.

Worf has been listening in silently to the crew conversation. “I’m not going anywhere near it,” he insists. “I don’t trust such things. Besides, real warriors don’t need sexual fantasies.”

“Oh yeah? Who are you banging then?” says an IT person, who never did know what was good for her, especially with a few drinks on board.

Worf ignores the subordination, because even he respects the egalitarian nature of Guinan’s Ten-Forward. (Not that he would admit it to any fellow Klingons.) “A warrior also never kisses and tells.” He glances at Tasha Yar, who is sitting next to him, but pointedly not interacting with him in any way. 

“I’m afraid to try it,” says Wesley, sitting across the table. “I have so many fantasies I think it will lock up trying to figure out which is my favorite.”

“And anyway, yours probably all involve delving into some complex tangle of wiring,” teases a young member of the sciences division, who has a crush on Wesley. “It probably isn’t programmed for that kind of fantasy.”

“They do not!” says Wesley. “And besides, if it can do Japanese rope bondage, why couldn’t it do wiring?”

“And you know it can do Japanese rope bondage how?” demands the redshirt.

“I...I don’t! I just assumed.”

Beverley, sitting next to Wesley, is starting to squirm in discomfort. “I don’t think both Wesley and I should be part of this conversation,” she says.

“I got some wiring to fix,” says Wesley. “I’m outta here.”

The scientist also chooses this moment to leave. 

“So what do you think it would produce for the Captain?” muses the replicator tech. 

“Probably, he’s reading Shakespeare sonnets out loud to someone who’s sucking his cock with their mouth full of hot Earl Grey tea,” blurts the tipsy woman from IT.

Beverley smirks privately.

“Well, has anyone actually tried this thing?” asks Jack the engineer. 

“I have,” says Data. He’s sitting at another table with Barclay and Geordi. They’re playing 3Way Chess. Everyone stares at him.

“How would it even work with an android?” the Med Lab tech asks. “For one thing, do you even have sexual fantasies?”

Data rises and comes over to the larger table. “I have...an equivalent.”

“Ok, and?”

“When I used the upgrade, my cat Spot appeared in a humanoid form, and wanted to know about human sexuality. I could show her the mechanics of it, since I am fully functional...”

“That’s enough,” chorus several crew members, and Worf. 

“I’ve tried it,” says Riker.

Everyone looks away, or down into their drink. But he persists. 

“Troi was pegging me and telling me that of all the minds she’s ever sensed, mine was the most beautiful and wise.”

Some wag tosses a hypospray on the table. The label reads ANTI-EMETIC. The Med Lab tech is trying not to smirk. 

“I sense that someone was just talking about me,” Troi says, walking in.

“NO,” snaps Riker.

“Have you tried the new holodeck program?” asks Jack.

“It’s broken. It doesn’t do anything,” says Troi.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it just showed me a mirror. Oh, and a sex toy. But it’s not as if I need to go to the holodeck for that.”

Several people snigger into their drinks. If Troi senses their feelings, she doesn’t say so. She narrows her eyes at Riker, who smiles flirtatiously at her. 

“Geordi, have you tried it?” asks Jack, who loves being able to use his superior’s first name in Ten-Forward. 

Geordi is still at the table formerly occupied by Data. He glances at the android and pretends he didn’t hear. 

“What I want to know is, why can’t it read people’s minds and give them _anything_ they want, sexual or otherwise?” wonders the replicator tech. After all, the replicator team is used to fulfilling demands for lots of different things. People often want to replicate things other than food. Or use the food for purposes other than eating, although that’s none of the business of the replicator techs. 

“Maybe that’s version 2.0,” says the IT expert. “Sexual fantasy is a more limited feature set, easier to start with.”

“Better feedback, since it can be crosschecked with physiological responses,” some mansplainer puts in.

“Pretty big feature set, given Rule 34,” pursues the replicator tech.

“Still. Smaller than ‘anything.’”

“I wonder what would happen if Q tried it,” wonders Jack. 

“Whatever it was, it would involve adoring crowds.”

“How about the Borg?” says the Med Lab tech. 

“YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED,” everyone choruses.

“Does it work if two people go in together?”

No one admits to having done that. 

“I’ll try that if no one else wants to,” says Data. 

“I’ll try it with you,” says Barclay.

Several of the longstanding members of the crew exchange nervous glances. 

“Now to really make it an interesting experiment, you could bring your cat,” says some joker.

“Hey Guinan, have you tried it?” asks Jack.

“Yes, I did. I was bartending in Ten-Forward,” says Guinan. “Nothing was different, except I had a multi-colored hat.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Data, Barclay, and Spot try the holodeck upgrade.

Data and Barclay enter the holodeck. Spot is in Barclay’s arms.

Barclay puts Spot down, and the holodeck transforms into a sunny meadow, with long grass that’s delightful to roll in, and some bushes that are fun to hide in, replete with the sounds of breezes and birdsong. As Spot wanders farther into the meadow, several large, handsome tomcats emerge from behind the bushes. She trills and flirts her tail at them. 

~~~

In the years that follow, Data and Barclay sometimes talk about their first experience with the upgraded holodeck. They try to reconcile their memories, speculate on the differences. 

The topic comes up again one night after they’ve finished fucking, and Data is holding Barclay’s head in his lap, stroking his hair and temples. 

“When we entered the holodeck, after you put Spot down, I was greeted by someone who looked like me,” says Data, “but it was immediately apparent to me that he experienced the full range of human emotions, in a way that I do not. He told me that I had been satisfying you sexually, but he would show me how to satisfy you emotionally as well. You and he fucked, and I watched.”

“D-did I respond to him differently than I do to you?” says Barclay, for the sake of hearing Data tell his side of the story again. “Did he do anything you don’t usually do?”

“I could not discern any difference. But being a watcher is different from being a participant, so it is difficult to be sure. Also, I cannot directly access your emotional reaction. Did you feel different with him? Were you more satisfied emotionally?” 

“I can’t answer that, because it’s not how I remember what happened, D-Data.”

“What do you remember?”

“There was no more-human you. There was only you. We fucked. Like we usually do. J-just like usual, except for being in the meadow, with the sunshine. And the sounds of birds. And the noise of cat-matings. So many cat-matings! Who knew Spot was such a...hedonist.”

“Was the experience pleasurable?”

“It was amazing as always. I love everything about how we are together.” 

“So I wasn’t different? You weren’t different? I’ve learned that humans often wish some parts of their bodies, or their sex partners’ bodies, were differently shaped or sized. Or they would prefer to have different physical reactions.”

“No, neither of our bodies was any diff— No, that’s not true. Yes, Data! There was a difference! _I had no pollen allergies.”_


End file.
